I Love
by vickih
Summary: this is going to be a series of one shots done for operation levity from tumblr. some will be funny, cheesy, serious and all will be full of Caryl love. There will be some occ behaviors from time to time and it won't be like my other stories. This is all Caryl so if that's not your thing this isn't for you :)
1. Chapter 1

**Here's a little something I did for the operation Levity on Tumblr. There's been a lot of Carol and Caryl hate going around and personally I find it frustrating. This is my first attempt at something funny, so let me know how it goes. So I dedicate this with much love to my favorite writers and the folks on the Caryl tag and STD… **

**I don't own or have anything to do with tptb on the walking dead… If I did, season 4 would have been VERY different!**

The first time Daryl tried to tell Carol how he felt about her-

Daryl knew how he felt about her, hell everyone knew how he felt about her, except for Carol herself. He couldn't figure out how she missed the signs. Michonne had been on his ass for months to just tell Carol. It got to the point that every time the two warriors were together, Michonne would mention it at least once and compliment him on his "technique" for seduction. He could also hear Merle's voice telling him to "Man up and find yer balls, little brother".

Today was the day! He was going to march into the kitchen area and just tell her.

Carol was serving lunch, smiling and laughing at something Beth had said. _God, she's so beautiful!_ he thought.

Taking a deep breath, he waited till the line died down and walked over to her. Carol saw him coming and flashed that special smile she only ever gave him.

He felt his heart speed up and the breath catch in his throat. _how am I goin' ta do this?_

Nope, he was going to do it! He walked the rest of the way to her.

"Smells good"…_smooth Dixon, _he heard Michonne's voice say to him.

Carol gave him another smile. "Hungry?"

"Yeah, umm… I need ta tell ya somethin'" Daryl could feel the sweat sliding down his face.

"Is everything ok?"

Daryl looked down and took another deep breath. He opened his mouth to spill his guts" Carol..."

"Carol I need some help with this pot." Beth called over.

"I'll be right back, ok?" Carol patted his arm as she turned to help Beth.

_Damn it! Ok take your time boy, you can do this._ Merle's voice prompted him.

Carol was back with him within moments. "You want to go sit down?"

Daryl noticed she had a bowl for lunch. _Maybe it'll be easier if we were alone._

The two walked over to a table farthest from the others and sat side by side.

After they finished lunch, Carol turned to Daryl. "What did you need to tell me?"

Daryl felt a bit of panic well up. He could do this, he knew he could. Dreams of what their life could be like, the love they could share had been with him for a long time.

"Carol, I Ummm, I uh… I..."

_Fuck! Ok, just need to do this!_

_"Carol I love… I love STEW!" _

Daryl dropped his head into his hands, he couldn't believe he had messed this up!

He jumped up and started to bolt…

"Daryl" her voice called with a hint of a chuckle "I love stew, too."


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a little bit of something I did for Rhinoilla and Operation Levity.**

Prompt fill: the moment when Daryl gave up the hunt for the Gov.

He hated being away from them, from her. He knew why he was hunting, but it didn't lessen the ache he started to feel when it was time for Michonne and him to head out again.

Coming home was almost as painful. The last few times they had returned felt different, something was missing.

Carol was still there to greet him, her smile guiding him through the gates, but that smile she saved only for him was getting rarer and rarer. Her eyes seemed shadowed.

He thought of the changes that had taken place over the last few months. He would catch glimpses of her growing strength and was proud of her. The down side was she was also responsible for more duties, more people.

She didn't have as much time for him as she used to. He would go by her cell, but she was off doing something.

He would try to catch her at dinner, but between serving the meals and dealing with everyone, by the time she got to eat, she would just take it with her to her next task.

He fucking hated it. He hated watching her run from job to job.

Hated seeing her empty cell.

Hated not being able to see her.

Part of him feared she was avoiding him, but she was always at the gate when he would leave and when he would come home.

Part of him feared someone else was maybe bonding with her.

Part of him feared he was losing her before he ever had her.

He missed her teasing, her gentleness.

He missed the way she would jump his ass if it was called for.

He missed HER!

The trail was getting colder and colder. They hadn't had a sign in the two months they had been looking. Michonne was dead set on looking for the one eyed prick, but he was starting to feel the call less and less. He wanted the bastard dead, there was no doubt about that, he just had less drive to be the one to look, to hunt, to…

While they were on the road he began to be plagued by dreams.

Dreams of her smile, her laugh, her smell, her arms wrapping around him and the heartbreaking blue of her eyes.

He dreamed of the sounds of giggles and sighs that morphed into moans of pleasure.

He dreamed of her hands gliding over his back, sliding into his hair.

He dreamed of her arms holding him close as she whispered to him, her breath ghosting over his face as he turned to kiss her.

He liked those dreams, even if they made the ache that much deeper in his heart. Even when Michonne would throw something at him while he slept because he was "gonna call down every damn walker for miles named Carol!"

Michonne kept herself for the most part, but they would once in a while share brief conversations. They talked about Andrea and Merle, about the prison. They didn't talk about the "before" or the "future". They talked weapons and cars.

Things changed on their last trip out.

Carol had been called away before they could share their normal good bye "Stay safe" "Nine lives"

He felt the pain of the missing goodbye like a knife to his gut, to his heart.

He couldn't keep his head on the hunt, instead he was lost in the abyss of missed chances and denied opportunities.

Night was quickly falling and they had lucked out and found a cabin to stay in.

Eating the dried food Carol had packed for them, he couldn't help but be jealous of the piece of meat. The last hands to touch it had been HERS.

He offered to take watch so Michonne could get some rest, but she had other ideas.

"You know, your heart isn't in this anymore."

"I know" he says quietly.

"You should have stayed."

"Yeah"

"You ever going to tell her?"

"Tell her what?" he didn't need to hear the name, they both knew who they were talking about.

"Tell her you love her?"

He didn't answer and after a while Michonne walked to her mat and settled down to sleep.

He kept watch all night, afraid to face what his dreams would show him, make him feel.

The feeling that Carol was drifting further and further away from him was growing.

She didn't need him to save her, didn't need him to teach her, didn't need him to protect her… not anymore.

He wondered if she NEEDED him, needed him like he was starting to fully understand he needed her.

Watching as the darkness gave way to the pink and red tinged hues of the sunrise, he finally understood what Michonne was saying to him.

She was telling him this wasn't his place anymore.

He wasn't meant to be here, something, no someone else called him home.

Michonne awoke shortly after his epiphany and looked over at her friend.

"We'll head back in just a few minutes."

He knew she wanted to be on the hunt, but she was doing this for him.

He gave her a brief nod in agreement.

They packed up their belongings and headed back to the home they had left the day before.

Carol was standing there, waiting and looking confused.

As he walked in the gate, he saw her smile was smaller than it had been the day before.

"Is everything ok?" she asked, the worry dripping from the simple words.

Michonne looked over at the other woman and gave a flash of her smile.

"Yeah, He forgot something really important."

Carol turned to him with questioning eyes, "What did you forget?"

He stood there, not knowing how to answer.

Michonne saved him again just as she had several times over on the road.

"He forgot he needed to be here." with that Michonne patted him on the shoulder and with a smile and a wave to Carol, she walked back out of the gate to continue her hunt.

"Daryl?" was all Carol could say, sharing the question that had been in her eyes.

"I'm staying home." was his answer.

He watched as the light grew behind her blue eyes causing them to shimmer in the early morning light.

He watched as her smile, HIS smile, graced her lips.

"Really?" she asked

"Yeah, I'm staying."

She reached over slipped her hand into his giving him a quick squeeze.

"You hungry?" she asked,

"I could eat."

He nudged her with his arm as they walked to the kitchen.

It's not just who you would die for that matters, it's who you would LIVE for.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finding Joy**

**This was a prompt request that I passed to a couple of very talented writer's: Muthawalker and English poet18. They did a wonderful job with it and I love them. This is my version of the same prompt. Sorry to say there is no true smut in mine, it's more implied. TBH every time I try to write smut, I start giggling or turn it into a serious BDSM type thing ( for that please see silvercreekmomma's AMAZING fic 'arrow's in the broken branch" if you like that kind of thing, you will not be sorry)**

**I wanted to dedicate this to the wonderful people that keep me motivated… you know who you are **

**Carol and Caryl on!**

**Finding Joy:**

The hard, sobbing sounds echoed in the room.

His head pressed to her naked breast, her fingers sliding through his hair as she whispered nonsensical words of comfort.

It wasn't a mystery how they ended in the tangle of limbs on the bed, the true mystery was why had it taken so long to get here.

_The day wasn't anything special, just another in a long line of days. He walked to her cell to check in with her, just as he did every evening. _

_She was sitting, book in hand, lips perched in a small smile. _

_He didn't know WHY, but something about the picture she made hit him hard. _

_He didn't speak as he walked over to her, casually taking the book from her and grasping her hand._

_In a testament to the level of trust she held for him, she let him lead her to an empty cell far from the others._

_He watched her as he quietly closed the door and led her to the bed._

_She saw something burning in his eyes, some need, a call that she was desperate to answer for him._

_The first brush of his lips on hers was hesitant, almost clumsy. His hands trembled as they slipped over her arms, to her face, eventually wrapping around her body and pulling her close._

He was lost in an overwhelming sea of emotions. Everything he knew about himself but had kept hidden was on display before her.

Stripped of his shield of anger, all of his fears, pain doubts were out in the open.

All of his heartbreak from his childhood visible to her eyes.

The sense of loss, and his failures to protect, to save that had haunted him for so many years, no longer hidden behind the cool exterior he portrayed.

Names shuffled through his mind, the names that had become a litany of atonement: Momma, Jacqui, Jim, Andrea, T-dog, Lori, Zack, Sophia, Merle, Merle MERLE, **MERLE!**

The responsibilities he held, crushing the life from him, each more demanding than the next.

Everything he had been, everything he is, everything he could be was exposed like a raw nerve.

Except for those few brief moments in her arms, where he found something, something perfect, something pure, something that could save him.

Memories of her hands caressing over his hidden shame, brushing away the shadows of the lost little boy that clung to those scars.

The feel of her soft skin as his hands glided over her body, her breath as it joined with his.

The sounds of her sighs, gasps, moans, his name sounding like the prayer of a child falling from her lips.

For those brief moments, he had found safety, contentment, and the Zen he always claimed to have but never had found. He had found peace.

He found joy and for the first time in his miserable life, he found love. The love that he always mocked but secretly desired. The love that he had always craved,. The love that he feared would always elude him.

She propped her body up, still holding him, rocking him slightly.

"SSSHH," she said, continuing to slip those fingers along his scalp.

The feeling of finding his other half, of finally belonging, caused the tears to flow faster.

"I've got you," she said.

He was afraid, afraid he would never feel that moment of joy again, never feel that peace. He was afraid he would sink back into the harsh reality that was his mind.

His grip tightened around her, almost painfully so, yet she never complained, never stopped holding him.

As his sobs started to slow, she wiped the tears from his face.

He was afraid to look at her, afraid she would turn from him.

She tilted his head up and caught his eyes.

He saw nothing but the love and acceptance he had always seen in her eyes.

There was no judgment, no remorse, no doubts as to how she felt.

As he had been laid bare before her, she was now bare before him.

Everything she had been, everything she is and could be shone through her eyes.

" 'm sorry," he whispered

"Don't be."

"I just…"

"Ssshh, I've got you, I'll always catch you," she said.

"I love you," he shyly said.

"I love you too," she spoke with more confidence.

He needs to feel that peace again, needs to feel her again..

He raised his hand and let it rest on her cheek as his lips hovered over hers.

"Say it again," he asked.

"I love you."


	4. Judith and her sounds

**Judith and the sound makers.**

**Hi all. This comes from a Tumblr prompt for operation levity. The prompt was: How does Judith "see " the group. Since I've never tried to write from a baby's perspective, I'm not sure how this one will work. **

**Carol and Caryl on!**

The angel awakes. She knows she's an angel because that's what the man with the scratchy face calls her.

All she has known is warmth and arms.

So many arms hold her, rock her. Some arms are more familiar than others, some she likes better.

She knows sounds, sounds of soothing lullabies, of words whispered to her. The one that makes these sounds holds her often.

She knows the sounds of a gruff husky voice that rumbles from the chest that she rests her head against. His arms are one of the most familiar.

She knows the sounds of someone who is soft, who tells her she is beautiful, that she looks like her momma. When she opens her eyes this sound makers face breaks into a smile. The smile is like sunshine, warm and comforting.

She hears what those sounds say to her. Sometimes it's just noise, she doesn't know what they are saying.

Other times she hears words that she hears often from the sounds. Words like:** Momma, daddy, Carl, Angel, sweetheart, ass kicker, Judith, bottle, play.**

Each sound uses different words, says different things to her.

The one who sings to her tells her words like **hope** and** fear**, of **holding on** and **jobs to do**.

"I don't know what kind of world you're going to grow up in, but we'll all be here for you"

The one with the scratchy face tells her words like: Lori, Momma, I'm sorry. She feels sad sometimes because this sound maker feels sad.

"I'm sorry you'll never get to meet your momma, she would have loved you. You'll always have me and Carl here to take care of you." "I love you baby girl"

The funny sound maker tells her words like: **brat, silly, goofy, sister.**

She loves this sound maker, he blows on her belly and makes her laugh.

"Hey baby sister, do you need a tickle?" "I wish dad trusted me" "I've done some things I'm not proud of, but I want you to grow up proud of me."

The one that is soft tells her words like: **Beautiful, smile, love, joy, and Sophia.**

She loves this sound maker who holds the smile. There is something happy about this sound maker that calms her when she's not feeling well.

"You are so beautiful Jude" "Look at the smile!" "Sophia would have loved you." "Speaking of someone who loves you…"

She hears the sound maker she loves the most. The rumbly sound maker that tells her words like: **Secret, Carol, Love, ass kicker, someday**.

"Hey, Ass kicker, aunty behavin'?" "How's my best girls doin' today" "ya know Jude, I love her."

"Someday I'll tell her, but until then I'll give you a kiss for your aunty. Pass it on will ya?"

When the husky sound maker and the soft sound maker are together with her, she feels safe and she feels loved. These two sound maker's sounds change, the words are the same, but they sound different.

The husky sound gets deeper and his heart beats faster. His arms shake just a bit.

The soft sound gets brighter, happier, her smile changes and her eyes shine.

When she's with the two, she hears new words and new sounds. She hears laughter and giggles. She hears words like: **tease, Pookie, stop.**

She loves all of her sound makers, all of her arms. Someday she'll tell them, someday.


End file.
